UKC

Hello and happy new year!

My husband and I have been climbing for many years and (nothing great, just in the 6b region typically), pretty much stopped for a couple of years when we became a family of 3. We've been back to climbing as a family with our now 5 year old who has been in a class since she turned 4. This is mostly to allow us to get a full session where we don't have to supervise while she can enjoy an intro with an instructor (she loves having "teachers"!) and peers.

She does enjoy it but has recently lost her confidence and is terrified to climb higher than a couple of meters. Interestingly, at rope climbing they did some blindfold climbs as a trust exercise where peers tell the climber where to place hands/legs and she went all the way up till she peeked and panicked!

Our current plan is to keep going with it and give her the time and space to do as much as she is confident with (and her instructor does the same), but I do wonder if there is anything we could do to help her? Needless to say in playgrounds she scales the highest rope structures without second thoughts even though there's just wood chips 4 meters under her feet!

Many thanks in advance!

E

Think you already have the answer, "time and space", with fun and a little encouragement.

I think robert-hutton is right but....

I notice you have only just joined UKC. You may want to have a look at this thread concerning a parent(also new to UKC) of a 6 year old from last week. Not all of it is pleasant reading, but it is what you may have to face up to if you want to carry on with any structured climbing for your child.

https://www.ukclimbing.com/forums/walls+training/grades_by_age-755101

Happy New Year

As an instructor at a Scout wall I find a couple of things help.

1. Rationalising (to the extent they can understand) as to how strong the gear is etc.  For instance 23kN (most metalwork) = 2.3 static tonnes.  It might be a bit of a twisting of the truth as you can never really achieve it, but "you could hang a car on that if you did it very carefully - you're a bit lighter than a car" does help to get over those who have "but the gear might break" type anxieties, as does stuff like "are you scared standing looking out of your bedroom window?  Well, this is as strong and it's tested every few years too".  It sounds a bit scientific but if explained right Beaver Scouts (age 6-8) do sort of get it, I guess with a bit more simplification a 4 year old will.  Though I've not instructed the new age 4-6 Squirrel Scouts yet, they are only just starting up.

2. Get them comfortable sitting on the rope (start low down if necessary).  When they feel it's as safe as being on the ground, then they get more confident at pushing themselves, because they get that they'll just end up sitting on the rope.

3. If they do get scared, get them very tight on the rope and see (2).

Regarding your last sentence this isn't at all unusual - there's something about ropes, harnesses and helmets that makes things seem a bit more serious than a climbing frame or even a tricky scramble despite the latter being more dangerous!  I guess it's just about getting used to it.

Can't help re leading, I'm not very good at that headgame myself unfortunately and I don't instruct to that level.

What you are describing is not unusual and, whilst working as an instructor with young kids, I’ve seen in plenty of times before.

Do you know if there was a particular incident which set off her fears?  Or is it maybe a developmental thing (it has just dawned on her that falling is a “thing”).

In my experience, with some kids it can pass, I used to put them on a section of wall where, if they climbed up a couple of metres they had space to swing about on the rope or spin round (assuming they enjoyed doing that).  Bouldering also good as very few were freaked out by that.  Also, if she is still motivated to get to the top but scared to do it - going “one hold higher” each time as a goal.

Kids groups good assuming it’s a relatively motivated group who actually want to be at climbing.  Sometimes you will get a kid or two who have been sent by their parents, who have no interest or are really scared of heights etc and this can be contagious (depending on the personalities involved).

Good luck

I found my children were much more confident outside than on a wall. I would suggest some scrambling around outdoors first. I firmly believe that you have to have a love for climbing before you can really progress, and I'm not sure an indoor approach is the best way to nurture that. Mine quickly found a love for scrambling about on rocks at low level. Plus they have so many interests when they are 5; swimming, riding a bike, skiing, all these are important too.

Maybe she just doesn’t like climbing?

Thanks for this! While I can't really identify an event or time that triggered her fear, I know that this has happened before with swimming, as a toddler she was pretty much fearless, then at 3 literally from one day to the other she became anxious and wouldn't let go of me, her dad or the edge of the pool. This slowly improved and she's developed really good confidence again since she started her regular classes where she is in the pool without a parent but the pool is shallow and she feels she has control and the security she feels she needs.

While we were persevering with swimming as we view it as an essential life skill, I can't say the same for climbing but I am interested in helping her alleviate her fears with some support and encouragement at her own pace - I think there is a lot to learn in that.

Many thanks again!